Living with someone who is suicidal?

[Anonymous]

Hi everyone,

I am Monika, just found this forum and been reading through your experiences.
My 15 year old daughter has been struggling with mental health issues for years, but this last year has been incredibly hard, especially the past 4 months. She has a growing need to feel physical pain and been self harming in all different ways. She’s been talking about killing herself – overdosing on pills -but she confided in me last night about more drastic ways of taking her life, which makes me feel that I can’t keep her safe anymore. CAMHS have been useless, they discharged her AFTER an A&E visit due to self harm, I’ve had to complain and get my local MP involved. All other agencies (school, GP, social services, Interact)are extremely concerned about her, yet CAMHS has so far refused a psychiatric assessment.
My daughter finds it extremely hard to open up and engage with professionals, I am the only person she talks to about what’s going on. I feel sick to my stomach with worry, I’m dreading the weekend knowing how very low she’s been feeling and I cant possibly be with her every minute of the day. I try to stay calm in front of her, but inside I’m falling apart and feel so helpless

[Anonymous]

Dear Monika,

my heart goes out to you and your daughter. Such a frightening time and no easy answers. It sounds as though you have all the right people involved in trying to get help for your daughter, but you’re not getting the help from CAMHS.

I totally ‘get’ that sense of hopelessness, when you’re not getting what you see is needed and your daughter is at such risk.

Hold on. You’re not alone. The very fact that your daughter will talk to you is a great credit to your relationship. Knowing that she will talk to you is a significant blessing, but with it comes an enormous sense of responsibility and that is overwhelming at times.

I don’t know if you realise that Papyrus is there for you as well as your daughter? Each of you may find it helpful to talk to one of their staff on the Hopeline?

Do you have anyone else who can support you and help you feel less alone?

I wish there were some easy answers for you. From my personal experience of keeping my daughter alive, keeping the channel of communication open is the most important thing you can do. And keep fighting for CAMHS to do the psychiatric assessment.

Whilst we can’t make everything easy, I hope that being able to ‘talk’ here is helpful.

Try to be kind to yourself in the midst of your worries for your daughter. You need your strength to get through this.

You Matter

Shalom (deep peace)

Helen

[Anonymous]

Not now, but I had a girlfriend who constantly talked about it. I don’t know how seriously she said it, but now she’s fine. It was difficult anyway

[Anonymous]

Hi AwsomeScottB,

thank you for adding to this forum. It’s good to hear a positive story.

It can’t have been easy for you at the time, especially when you weren’t sure if she might try to take her life.

When someone says that they are suicidal it can feel as though they are attention seeking, but it’s always best to assume that they are genuinely at a low point and feeling that life is too tough to keep going.

I hope you will never have the experience again, but just talking may make a significant difference for anyone who is feeling that the world would be better off without them. There is also help and support through Papyrus, Mind and Samaritans, both for those feeling suicidal, but also resources are now being developed for those who are supporting them.

Every blessing

Shalom (deep peace)
Helen

[Author]

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