Living with someone who is suicidal?

[Anonymous]

Dear all,

the festive season is not always an easy time. Smiles often cover pain and fear inside, like a mask worn to hide reality. Parties and festivities happen all around, but the reality of our worry is not diminished. Very often it’s heightened as we fear for our loved ones.

At this time, please look after yourselves, granting yourself permission to take time out to have a walk, read a book, listen to music, visit friends… whatever it is that will help you to recharge, stay balanced and get through the season.

Please know that you are not alone, and that should you need to reach out, there is this community, the Papyrus Hopeline: 0800 068 4141, Samaritans: 116 123 and local mental health Crisis Teams to turn to.

Please keep safe as you support others

Shalom (Deep peace)
Helen

[Anonymous]

Hello everyone…

What a strange time we’re living in. It’s a time of stress, worry and grief – loss of things we’ve been used to and friends and family we’re unable to see. This all takes its toll on us and those we love. If you are concerned about the change in your own mental health, do talk about it with someone you trust, speak to a health professional or call the Hopeline. If you think that someone you know is struggling then ask them directly if they are feeling suicidal. Help for both yourself and your loved one / friend is available through Papyrus Hopeline 0800 068 41 41

Please take care and stay safe
Shalom (Deep peace)
Helen

[Anonymous]

Well, we’re still in semi-lockdown and it’s not easy. I suspect that many who have not struggled with poor mental health in the past are having moments of feeling quite down as we deal with all that is going on around us.

so…

how are you?

Are you coping?

For those who are living with someone who was already suicidal, are they coping?

Don’t forget that this forum is designed as a safe space to share and get support from others who are in a similar situation, and Papyrus are also available to listen and give support and advice.

Be safe, don’t struggle alone

Shalom (deep peace)

Helen

[Anonymous]

Hello there,

just a reminder that this forum is for anyone who is living with someone who is suicidal – family member, house mate, friend…

Living with the threat of a suicide creates lots of stress and impacts a family quite considerably, so don’t battle on alone.

This is intended to be a safe space of mutual support, run by those who have experienced it first hand, not experts, but people from all walks of life who seek to support each other when things are tough.

Read through past posts, drop a line in the follow-up box if you’d like to have contact

Take care

Helen

[Anonymous]

Hi Mike
Do you have any support for yourself to manage the situaton with your daughter?

[Anonymous]

Hi,
as we are met with darker mornings, shorter days, and further covid restrictions, it is realistic to recognise that many people will find that their mental health is perhaps not as good as usual.

If you’re supporting someone you love who is suicidal, they may well be finding things more difficult, but what about you?

How are you coping? How is your mental health? Are you okay?

This forum is for you to be honest about what you’re dealing with. I set it up because I felt so alone and lacked support.

Papyrus have been fantastic in enabling me to have this forum, and they’ve now developed material for parents, giving support and advice, which is great, they also support any concerned person through the Hope line.

This forum is a peer led space, to give and receive support to others in a similar situation. To cry together, to rant about ‘the system’, to seek ways to encourage and support as we acknowledge how painful our situations are.

Please take time to look after yourself in the midst of watching over your loved one

Shalom (deep peace)

Helen

[Anonymous]

hi,

I’m brand new to the forum. i’ve been reading through past posts and my heart goes out to you all who are supporting a child/loved one who is suffering.

My daughter is 16, she is kind and beautiful, and up till 18 months ago she was my best friend and we shared lots of happiness. I dont know what happened, I cant pinpoint when she started to change but she did. Up to now she has attempted suicide 8 times. She is depressed, she doesnt care about her appearance and she engages in very risky behaviour. She self harms and has started experimenting with drugs. She is very young minded for her age and not very worldly and this worries me so much when she is engaging in this risky behaviour. I have as much professional support around her as possible and I too am seeing a therapist now.

It is hard and I feel useless and tired and angry. My professional background is working with people like my girl – supporting people with complex needs…. But this is very different, its personal, so its hard. I dont mind admitting that I am struggling.

If there are any support groups out there that I could tap into I’d be super grateful to know about them.

Take care everyone xx

[Anonymous]

this kind of situation is really very difficult. The first step is to get help!

[Anonymous]

Hi nlg64,
my heart goes out to you, such a difficult situation to deal with as a professional, but so much harder when it’s your beloved child. You clearly have the professional support sorted and are wise to be getting therapy yourself, but as you know, there are no easy answers.
I’m just a parent, who also wanted support of others in similar situations. Papyrus have been brilliant in recognising that carers are treading a difficult, painful path, and have enabled this forum. As yet there is no recognised support group, though I am keen to do what I can to help that to happen.
You and your daughter matter and if I, and others on this forum, can help in any way, please keep contact.
Thinking of you both
Shalom (deep peace)
Helen

[Anonymous]

Hi brunagomes,
You’re quite right, and that in itself can be a big step to take as it means acknowledging that things are not right and recognising that we need support and help for our loved one.
Sometimes knowing that there are others dealing with similar situations can be helpful.
Take care.
Shalom (deep peace)
Helen

[Anonymous]

Life is so beautiful why there are people who want to commit suicide so regrettable. There are many people who want to live, but due to their dangerous circumstances, they cannot live or there are unlucky people who do not have enough body. Yet there are people who want to commit suicide, unfortunately

[Anonymous]

Dear diaockimoanh,
you are so right when you say that life is beautiful, and it is with great sadness that we hear of people who struggle with thoughts of suicide. It is very true that most people want to live, but there are many reasons why someone may take their life and it is always heart-breaking when someone does.
I accept that there are dangerous situations around the world where people are dying and many losing their lives to illnesses, especially at the present time with Covid. This is also deeply distressing.
However, it does not mean that those who are suicidal are of less worth or are even wanting to take their lives. Many are seeking a release from situations that they feel unable to bear, or they perceive themselves to be a burden to those they love and believe that the world would be happier without them. This of course, is not true.
Each person is valuable and has worth.
Each person matters.
We endeavour to help and support anyone who is living with someone who is feeling suicidal, in the hope that we might make a difference.
Every blessing
Shalom
Helen

[Anonymous]

What to do when some doesn’t want to suicide but it’s just for that few seconds the thoughts come and they take control over. How to overcome yourself in that few second time?

[Anonymous]

Dear arnoldmiler,
very few people really want to take their life, but events and feelings can be overwhelming.
If you feel this way, or know someone who is struggling, then please phone HOPELINEUK 0800 068 41 41 as they will give support and help you to get through this. Samaritans and emergency services will also help. If the need is urgent then phone 999.
Having someone that you can really talk to and be honest with about how you feel can make a huge difference. There might be a friend or family member that could be that safe person. You don’t need them to panic, just listen so that you can express how you feel and start to think about what you might put in place to keep yourself safe.
There is lots of information on the NHS and Mind websites in addition to the excellent material here on the Papyrus site.
Please reach out for yourself or the person you’re concerned about and stay safe.
You Matter
Shalom (deep peace)
Helen

[Anonymous]

Dear Samuel,
I agree, but we do what we can as family and friends to support those we know who are finding life tough. To listen without judgement can really help someone work through their feelings. Never underestimate the value of listening.
Of you’re struggling, or know someone who is, then please talk to someone you trust or contact Papyrus
You Matter.
Shalom (deep peace)
Helen

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